Waku is what we here in Luapula land refer to America as when we are speaking about it. Waku doesn’t actually mean America in bemba, it means “from far” but in our bemba/peace corps slang it has come to be known as America, that land we are so “far from”. As some of you know I spent the last three weeks in Waku. It was an amazing three weeks that I had been thinking about since the beginning of my service. However it was also a learning experience for me as everything seems to be throughout my Peace Corps service.
Throughout my three weeks I visited four states ( Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia and New York) and dozens and dozens of friends from all different parts of my life. I felt so lucky and blessed that so many people made such an effort to see me. I got to see my cousins which I usually only see once every three years at our family reunions ( that includes you Kevin Kokal, I told you I would give you a shout out), I got to see old high school friends that live all over the states but who have still become my family ( love you ladies), I also got to see old college roommates, study abroad friends, as well as people who I went abroad with to Israel in 2005 and hadn’t seen since. It really was like I was taking a blast into the last 10 years of my life. It was wonderful seeing everyone and again thank you everyone who came from near or far to visit. It meant the world to me. So now that I have written the most broad thank you note ever written, lets move on to the infamous “reverse culture shock” which I anticipated and experienced while home.
A common question while I was in the States was “ How are you doing? Does this feel weird? What is the most different or hardest thing to adjust to?”. All are valid questions but are hard to answer with one word or even one sentence. Therefore I am going to revert back to the "list technique" which I have used so often in my blogs. So here are the list of the top 5 things which were the most obvious culture shocks in my three weeks in America after being in Zambia for a 18 months. Note, these are my observations that I don't think are necessarily good or bad but different from Zambia.
1. Iphone, Ipads, Ipods, America is ruled by Apple and by “I”. When I left the states the Iphone was present as was the blackberry, android, flip phone and various other types of cellular devices. When I came back it was Iphone nation. One of my friends had a blackberry and people shunned her like she was living in the 19th century. I understand and see the appeal of the iphone very much, however I think it has made people less social and more “I” centered. Its not a negative or a positive, just a difference that was immediately apparent to me. I just hope that as this “I” revolution continues people continue to take time to put down their “I” devices and take in the beauty that is human interaction, experience and adventure, because I think sometimes the ease and “apps” which the iphone provides takes that scary yet useful unknown out of our lives.
2. DRIVING!! I got to drive while I was home and it was incredible. I turned the music up, put the windows down ( just a smidge because it was cold) and just drove. Although I loved driving, I did begin to miss the fresh air. I tried to explain to people that in Zambia I live outside. Yes I live in a mud hut but let’s be honest, it’s a mud hut. It is basically outside. I cook all my meals outside, I bathe outside, I use the bathroom outside and when I have to get from one place to another its by biking or walking, again outside. So although I tried to get out for a run or walk everyday I still felt a little stuffed by the perfectly heated cars, houses and restaurants. The day I got back to Zambia it was in the high 80’s and I went to the house where I was staying that didn’t have air conditioning or fans. It was almost a relief to be uncomfortable by the natural weather. I know I might regret this in a few months when the rains are pouring down and the humidity is unbearable, but for now, I like my uncomfortable weather.
3. OPTIONS. America has more options in every facet of its existence than I remembered. The first week I was in town I drove to a local CVS to find face wash. I stood in the isle for 45 minutes trying to figure out which one I should buy. Do I need pore reducer, foam wash, acne cream, total face wash, scented wash, etc. I just want some soap for my face!?! I became overwhelmed quickly and left the store, face wash had to be bought another day. This same thing would happen whenever I went to restaurants. To preface, we have one “restaurant” in Mansa which contains fried chicken and chicken pies, so to go to a restaurant with 100 choices of which way you want your salad prepared is slightly overwhelming. I usually just went with old classics or whatever the person next to me was ordering. It is exhausting making that many choices!
4. FAST PACE AMERICA- Although I loved every minute of my time in the states I am exhausted!! I am at my provincial house currently about to go back to my village and have slept for 10 hours each night. Although I didn’t “do” that much in America the amount of things that everyone tried to fit in their day seemed exhausting to me. Lets compare a day in the village to a day in America. A day in the village: Wake up, go on a run, eat breaktfast, bathe, read, have a meeting, cook lunch, read, wash dishes, sleep. A day in America: Wake up, Run, Shower, Go to breakfast with friend 1, go to target to get unnecessary yet wonderful accessory, stop at the bank on the way to take out money, drop off dry cleaning on the way to meet Family member 1 for lunch, go to doctors appointment, meet friend 2 for coffee, go home and take an hour to get ready for dinner with family member 2 and 3, then meet friend 3, 4, 5 for drinks after dinner. Don’t get me wrong, being able to see this many people that I love in a day is something that I will be forever grateful for, but can you see the difference? Even if it is just eating or getting a cup of coffee Americans don’t just “hang out” anymore. There must be an activity, going to a movie, or shopping, or eating or drinking. In my hut I might read for 4 hours a day, when I come into the provincial house we might watch a movie but mostly sit outside just talking about nothing ( mostly because there is nowhere to get a bite to eat or drink). I noticed in America I was always doing something when sometimes I just wanted to be still.
5. Marriage, babies, engagements oh my!! I am so thankful I was able to meet two little new additions to my family ( Hayden and Dylan) while I was home. I was also able to meet new boyfriends, wives and significant others that I had been waiting to meet for some time. It was wonderful. However this theme of marriage, babies, engagements seemed to be present in every city I visited or friend I talked to. People were either getting engaged, wanting to get engaged, tired of hearing about engagements, going to 5 weddings in June, sick of weddings, wanting to be in a wedding, etc. Again, I hope this doesn’t sound negative it was just a difference that I found since I had left the states. I understand I am 25 and this is the new reality. However I guess I spend so much time in Zambia explaining to people why I am NOT married or NOT engaged or NOT with child that it just came as a shock that it was the topic of conversation with so many different groups of people. It’s obvious to me why it was a shock as one of the main messages and topics of health education I focus on is delaying early marriage and early pregnancy ( as it is common to see a 16 year old married and pregnant and therefore dropping out of school at an early age), so I guess I just didn’t expect to talk about it as much with my peers who are living such completely different lives.
I want to be honest and say this blog has been really hard for me to write. I don’t want to come off as negative towards America or condescending or patronizing in any light. I know where I live and how I live my life currently is drastically different than the majority of the people I know. I know I went from living in a third world country to visiting one of the richest countries in the world. I know that the culture shock would have eventually worn off if I had stayed long enough and it will wear off when I come back later this year. I just felt like it was important to acknowledge and share my experience as I have since starting my journey of Peace Corps a year and a half ago. Even though going back to the states was going “home” I felt at the end of my trip that I was also going back “home” to Zambia. I think you can have multiple homes throughout this world and I think depending on what your doing or how long you’ve been there your comfort level at those homes can vary. Currently I feel most at “home” in Zambia. With my lack of electricity, dirty peace corps volunteers and fresh humid air. I know my home will shift back to the states soon enough, but for now I am content where I am.
I can’t finish this blog without thanking my parents for everything they did for me over the past 3 weeks. Mom, I hope you can get some rest and take care of yourself as I know you were taking care of me every second I was home. You couldn’t have made it more perfect, I enjoyed every minute of my time with you and hope you know how much I appreciate everything. Dad, I know you took off work and made it your priority to be with me as much as possible. Thank you. ( B- I didn’t forget about you, thanks for spending the most time either of us have spent in Greensboro in years with me. It made my homecoming that much sweeter).
Hope everyone had a Happy New Year and are looking forward to what 2012 will bring, because I know I am.
